We don’t know much about personal computing devices, but the Pocket eDGe makes a terrible shaving razor.

“Hi, everybody, and welcome to another edition of Real Dudes’ Product Reviews. I’m your host Brad Knesslebach, and joining me as always is my co-host Shane. What up, Shane?”

“Dude, what happened to your face?”

“I’m glad you asked, Shane. Because it relates to this week’s product.”

“You look like a bale of red newspaper, bro.”

“Yes, well, OK, thanks, I think we all understand that my face is all messed up. Don’t you want to hear about why?”

“Dude, your face is seriously messed up.”

“The reason—Shane, viewers—why my face looks like this is that this morning I tried shaving with the enTourage Pocket eDGe, unaware that apparently this company has no quality control, no minimum safety standards, and no compunctions about selling a shaver that bruises, abuses, and contuses the face of any sap dumb enough to give it a try.”

“Dude.”

“The cutting edge on this thing is so dull that I had to use both hands to drag it as hard as I could across my face. And even then the only reason it took any stubble off is because a layer of skin peeled up underneath it.”

“Dude. You have made a grievous error here, dude.”

“Indeed I have, Shane. It was totally my bad to trust the Pocket eDGe not to abrade the holy heck out of my mug. I’m just glad we have this YouTube channel so i can warn other potential customers.”

“Brad, bro. The enTourage Pocket eDGe is a WiFi dualbook. It’s got eReader and tablet functionality, dude.”

“Not anymore it doesn’t. That stuff all broke when I ran it under hot water to get the blood and shaving cream off.”

“Well, obviously it isn’t waterproof, dude.”

“Another critical design flaw!”

“But brah—it isn’t even—I mean—did you not even try it out as a thing to read e-books on, or to browse the web?”

“Why, dude, do I care about browsing the web while I’m trying to shave? I’m sick of these pointless gimmicky add-on functionalities, dude. Just give me a sharp blade and, like, an ergonomic handle. Don’t waste my time with extras like an onboard camera, or Bluetooth or whatever. I mean, what is this thing? A facial razor or a personal computing accessory.”

“Dude, it’s a personal computing accessory.”

“My point exactly! OK, that’s all the time we have for this week, but join us next time on Real Dudes’ Product Reviews when we’ll try out one of those Razor electric scooters. Shane, you’ll probably have to take that one, as I don’t think my face will be healed in time to try it out.”

“Dude.”

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