Brinkmann, Brinkmann (Or, The Lux)
“The rules are simple. You push this button and receive 120 lumens of portable lighting, wherever and whenever you need it. And someone you’ve never met will die.”
“You know what? You can just go ahead and take that box with you. I don’t need it. I won’t be pushing the button.”
“So you say. Perhaps you even believe it. But the temptation will corrode your thin veneer of civlized morality. Your craving for convenient light will overwhelm your social conditioning and uncover your true, brutal, selfish nature. You will stand revealed as the killer you are – the killer we all are.”
“Well, uh, maybe, if I didn’t already own a Brinkmann 3-Watt Luxeon LED Aluminum Flashlight.”
“Luxe-what, now?”
“Luxeon. That’s the technology behind the super-bright LED in my Brinkmann flashlight. The world’s brightest LED’s, they say. Whenever I’m ‘tempted’ to see in the dark, all I have to do is hit a button right there on the rugged anodized aluminum body. Zap! Bright light, for up to 30 hours on two D batteries (not included).”
“So who dies when you turn it on?”
“Nobody dies. It’s just a flashlight, not a catalyst for the murderous impulses lurking in the hearts of supposedly civilized men. Or whatever lesson you were trying to teach.”
“But, but, you’re supposed to push the button and kill somebody and then-”
“Nah, not today. Now get out of here before I call the police. Take your little box somewhere else.”
“Oh, I will, I assure you. I’ll give it to someone… you’ve never met.”
“That’s cool. Whatever.”
Warranty: Lifetime Brinkmann
Features:
- 3 watt Luxeon LED produces 120 Lumens
- 30 times brighter than a standard 5mm LED flashlight
- Machined aircraft-grade anodized aluminum
- Shock and water resistant
- Push-button switch with silent signal capacity
- O-ring sealed against dirt and moisture
- Water resistant and shock resistant
- Operates on 2 D cell batteries (not included)
- Runtime: 30 Hours
- Dimensions: 10" Tall, 2" Diameter
Additional Photos:
In the box:
- Brinkmann 809-2082-0 3 Watt LED Aluminum Flashlight
