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Dear Tenants,
We at the Eagle Freedom Realty Company are pleased with your continued status as our residents. However, recent events we are not at liberty to fully discuss have caused us to clarify a few rules regarding the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV in the lobby. Please be sure to read, sign and return this letter to ensure your compliance with our new policy.
1. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is for lobby use only. It can at no time be taken to the roof even if there is enough cake for everyone.
2. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is equipped with a wide variety of inputs, allowing for DVD players, cable boxes, computer input and more. It is not, however, designed to interface with one of those light up ceramic turkeys that sings “Thank Heaven For Little Girls” while waving a lit sparkler. Please refrain from attempting this. Additionally, lit sparklers are no longer allowed in the common area for any reason.
3. Even though the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV has a built in ATSC/NTSC/QAM tuner, residents may not commandeer the television to search the now-unused channels for “top secret army communications regarding the alien autopsy” without the agreement of everyone in the room.
4. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is described as “delivering 178 degrees of vision”, but this claim has been researched and is most definitely not part of a Masonic plot. We at Eagle Freedom Reality Company respect all religions, but no invocations, exorcisms or “white light clarification shields” will be allowed in the common area.
4. Under no circumstances will baby raccoons be allowed into the building, even during a rainstorm.
5. When enjoying the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV;s 1366×768 screen, please remember that, no matter how good the picture is, the little people on the screen are not real, and any debates, threats or bribery will be ineffective. Additionally, it is forbidden for anyone to lick the television screen at any time without written permission signed by both myself and another Eagle Freedom Realty staff member.
6. No stone structures are allowed on the roof at any time, regardless of the prime location of the dragon’s tail or the alleged intersection of the ley lines.
Anyone found violating of any of these rules will be subject to immediate eviction. Please work with us to ensure that all tenants can enjoy the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV.
Sincerely,
Marybelle
Eagle Freedom Reality Company
Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV
Side Controls
Rear Inputs
2 HDMI Inputs
Remote Control
Warranty: 90 Day Vizio
Features:
Specifications:
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Inset photo credit: jimbowen0306
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