To: Chin-hwa and the rest of the R&D crew
From: Dear Leader

‘Sup fools? KJ-I here. Revolutionary greetings in the name of the glorious Korean people and all that crap. Yo, I need y’all to take a look at this dope DVD player one of our dirties in the West picked up. The imperialist swine call it the Mustek PL608. I call it stupid fresh. Check it: 8” screen, progressive scan playback, and support for DVD, CD, VCD, JPG, and MP3 CDs.

Here’s what I’m thinking: y’all crack it open and figure out how it works. We set up a factory to make our own – I think these are made in China, so if one brutal dictatorship can manufacture them, why not another? Then we issue one to every household, along with a selection of my dopest joints on DVD. Speeches, TV appearances, that video I did with Ja Rule – all of it. Then they can get a full dose of Jong-Illage while they’re on the train to work, walking to their “volunteer” jobs on the weekends, or foraging for edible grasses. Here’s a bonus: anybody who’s caught not watching me on a knockoff Mustek PL608, we get to shoot!

I know y’all like the idea, so get on that shiznit, yo. But don’t bother with the car adapter – it’s not like any of our people have cars. Juche out! NoKo reprazent!

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