In the early 21st century, Dubstep was not yet the One True Music.

Hard as it may seem to believe, Dubstep was not always regarded as the Princely Music it is today. As late as 2011, many thought Dubstep would pass off as a "fad". As though the musical embodiment of virtue could be so easily cast aside!

However, in 2012 the Incase Sonic Over Ear Headphones changed everything. Although these headphones could play any music with their low-mass titanium audio drivers, they just looked like they should be used to listen to Dubstep. So much so that people began listening to more Dubstep to match their headphones.

This was just the tipping point that Sweet Lady Dubstep needed. Once a critical mass of the populous embraced Her dulcet tones, regression to outmoded stylings was impossible. Like a ratchet, Dubstep gained ground on the musical landscape without giving an inch. Primitive genres such as "Rock and Roll", "Jazz", and "Hip Hop" were quickly grandfathered out, and all music was unified under the banner of Dubstep.

So let us say a prayer of thanks to the Incase Sonic Headphones, whose suede-covered memory foam earcups provided solace to a battered world.

Dear Dubstep:
DDDDDWUUBBWUBBBBWUBBBB
May Your percussion pause,
TZHCZHTZTHZTHCHCHCWUBWUB
May Your drops be brutal,
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZBWUMBWUM    
And may You grant us rabbit-like fertility despite the widespread nuclear fallout.
AMEN

Back to top