And for my next trick, I shall help this wine escape from this bottle.

“Jeez, this guy’s terrible. I can’t believe we paid money to watch this.”

“Hey, you’re the one who was all ‘let’s go see a magician’. If it was up to me, we’d be watching The Avengers right now.”

Notice as I simply and deftly manipulate the Houdini Foil Cutter about the neck of the wine’s glassine prison, and – PRESTO! The foil vanishes!

“Vanishes? He just balled it up and threw it over his shoulder!”

Silence please! The next stage of this feat requires immense concentration! Observe the Houdini Vertical Corkscrew! A mere decorative bauble, it would appear… but in the hands of one adept in the arcane mysteries as am I, this enchanted device magically lifts the cork like… SO!

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. If that’s magic, I’m Orko.”

“Who?”

“You know, Orko. The little floating wizard from He-”

WHO DARES SPEAK? I have endeavoured to show forebearance for your disturbances, but further tampering with the tremendous forces inhabiting this room cannot be tolerated! I must demand your silence, lest the might of my magic strike errantly upon the innocent assembled here!

“Your ‘magic’? Please. You’ve opened a bottle of wine. Big deal. Let me guess: next you’re going to aerate it with that Houdini Wine Shower, pour some in a glass, and seal the rest ‘magically’ back in the bottle with the Wine Sealer. Then, for the grand finale, you’re going to make the wine in the glass ‘disappear’. By drinking it. Ha ha ha.”

Stop! You’re giving away my secrets! Doesn’t the magician’s code mean anything anymore?

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