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Say what you want about me. Call me overly cautious, paranoid, or yeah, even crazy. But I knew that raccoon was up to no good the moment I came face-to-face with those beady little eyes of his five years ago. And now I finally have the proof! Your day has come, Mr. Raccoon. Oh yes. Your day has finally come.
Your personal safety is no laughing matter. But you know what is? Catching your neighbor on your security camera after he's accidentally locked himself out of his house, in his underwear, just as the school bus is dropping off across the street. Man. That alone was totally worth the investment.