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Okay, we're just kidding. Brian obtained all these items perfectly legally. But he still wants them to move, so he's priced them so low, it's ALMOST a steal! Don't tell the deal cops! Or the deal Feds! Or the deal Homeland Security! Brian, seriously, what have you gotten us into?
Brian, head out that way. Here, take this phone, they can't trace it. Stay moving, and don't talk about bakeware. Don't contact us again. Good luck, man. Good luck.