HEAR YE, HEAR YE! I, the official town crier for this municipality, do hereby announce the opening of Ye Olde Bidettery at the corner of Horehound and Licorice! Come on down to the corner of Horehound and Licorice and try out Ye Olde Bidettery! Free peppermint hard candy with every visit! Just like George Washington used, according to our official on-site bidetgrapher! Come one, come all, come now! HEAR YE! HEAR YE!