Excuse me, Mr. Sanitizer, I know you’re busy, but would you sign my toothbrush?

Oh geez, my best friend Stacy is not going to BELIEVE I met you. She is totally going to freak out, like, totally. We’re both huge fans of what you do, for real. Like, we had no idea that so much stuff could live on our toothbrushes, you know? All that bacteria and germs and stuff? SO GROSS. But you destroy, like, nearly all of it! 99.9% of it, in fact, even that swine flu stuff that everyone was so worried about so long ago! You’re like a superhero or something! Tee hee!

Could you make it out to the ‘UV Light’ of your life? Really? I mean, I know your UV bulb never needs replacing, but Stacy will be SO JEALOUS if she sees you wrote that to me. When I get home, I’m totally putting this back in the portable travel case, sanitizing it one more time, and then never taking it out again! Thank you so much…

Wait. You’re the Zero Germ UV Toothbrush Sanitizer with Toothbrush? Oh. Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed. I totally thought you were the toothbrush sanitizer from a different infomercial. I mean, you seem nice and all, but are you even all that famous? ‘Cause I was kind of hoping to sell this on eBay for some extra cash.

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