Wish I could see at night

A lot of people think night-vision technology is just for Marines and security guards and survivalists and varmint hunters and burglars and Batman. And they’re right, except for the “just.” Everyone can use night vision!

There are literally billions of reasons you might need a night vision scope. Maybe you’re into stargazing. Maybe your house has no windows or electricity. Maybe you like to go fishing at night. Maybe you’re the victim of frequent toilet-papering. Literally billions. Space prohibits us from listing them all here.

A common house cat can see in something like one sixth the amount of light that you can, or so some guy told us one time, so it’s probably true. Think of that! Every night, your very own cats could be just strolling around your house, lah dee dah, like they’re so much better than you, never stepping on a Lego, never banging their shins against a coffee table. Even though they have twice as many shins as you! Are you going to let them show you up like that?

Here’s just a basic demonstration of how important it is to be able to see in the dark. All the preceding paragraphs were typed in full daylight. The next one we’ll type blindfolded, to simulate total darkness.

Ad yop casn seem io;s nwru diddixot to kake aneythdson oihd. Anw rewllr, woudn ypoi eb[we o5t34wis> Mo, od xiurse mot.

See what we mean? Disaster.

Or, oh, man, remember in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS? Where she’s in the basement, and it’s all dark? And he’s reaching out toward her? Yeah, it gives us the shivers just thinking about it. Just that right there is enough to convince us never to go anywhere without night-vision gear. You never know.

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