The party’s over, fellow residents of La Vista Fea Apartments. I’m talking to you, Mrs. Porter. You’ve complained about the smell of my iguanas for the last time. You, too, whoever stole my good bike shorts out of the washing machine. And you, guy on the third floor who keeps me up all night practicing his clarinet or oboe or whatever that stupid thing is. You’re all going to pay now. I’ve got the WowWee Robosapien V2 on my side.

My 24”-tall avenger will do my bidding right out of the box, and I bid him to destroy you all. His dance moves will bewitch you. His martial-arts moves will devastate you. His bowling moves will topple you. But I won’t stop with the factory preset features. I’ll employ my superior cybernetic knowledge to add a flamethrower and all kinds of other devastating weapons. I didn’t spend forty-five minutes reading Evil Robot Construction for Dummies just for fun, you know.

Now all I have to do is unleash Robosapien V2 from his packaging and my campaign to conquer La Vista Fea will begin! Let’s see, here…I’ll untie the arms first…this is taking a while. Alright, almost got it…there! Now Robosapien V2 is free to stalk the hallways- no. No, wait, it’s still attached to the cardboard somewhere. Wow, this is really wired in here. I’ll just cut through these twist-ties…Ungh…come on, you damn cheap clippers…OK! It’s off! Now, to remove Robosap- DAMMIT! It’s still tied on somewhere! Forget it! Forget it! Just forget the whole stupid robot thing! I never want to see another Robosapien as long as I live! You win again, Mrs. Porter!

I wonder if you can train iguanas to do ju-jitsu…

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