The child will want to test his limits, to see what she can get away with without his parents intervening, telling her no, punishing him. Partially this is a typical condition for her age; partially it’s due to the gender confusion inherent in egalitarian pronoun usage. But until he feels secure that her parents old and new will keep him from going too far and hurting herself, he will continue to resolve her feelings of anxiety with displays of unorthodox behavior toward his caregivers.

These irrational, self-destructive behaviors can include tantrums, holding of breath, arson, playing the bassoon, feng shui, and the most frightening manifestation of all: the Bag O’ Crap, when the child feels compelled to sell a bag of worthless junk for a meager pittance of a price. Sometimes, such as today, he may even sell her bags this way: if you buy a set of Woot-Off lights and the last digit of your order number matches the last integer digit (that’s the ones digit) of the final Dow Jones Industrial Average at the close of business Monday, July 12, 2010 (after all settling), you will also receive a Bag O’ Crap. It’s the rare transaction where everyone comes away a loser – and it can drive a parent (or parent company) to distraction.

The current conventional wisdom is to not fight it. While perverse and obnoxious, the Bag O’ Crap phase will pass in time. It just has to. People can’t be that stupid. Can they? Seriously, can they?

That said, it’s still important to maintain proper discipline with your six-year-old. One tactic that works remarkably well with captured space-alien children may have a similar effect on your Earthling kid: when the child misbehaves, simply threaten to take away the 25% discount on all employee purchases from the parent company. It’s a potent method of reminding your child who makes the rules.

Of course, for this method to work, you have to offer the child the discount in the first place. It’s a question of how far you’re willing to go to be an effective parent.