You know, Officer, I’m only speeding from a certain point of view.

There are two types of people in this world: Jedi and Sith. Actually there are a bunch of other types of people too, we just don’t care about them because they can’t do cool stuff like great big jumps or confusing Stormtroopers. So, then, two types of people.

Now, when presented with a XXXXX, it’s easy to see which of the two a person really is. A Jedi would use the XXXXX’s ability to see X, K and Ka radar lasers for good things, like enjoying a flat and empty road while keeping an eye out for other cars, or maybe to stay safe on a drive through a city known to be full of speed traps. And he’d plug it into his cigarette lighter to keep it charged.

A Sith Lord, though, would try to use the XXXXX to speed through housing developments and to give him an edge when making illegal turns and speeding on busy freeways. He would also plug the XXXXX into his cigarette lighter, because there is no battery, but he’d use his lightsaber to light a cigarette every three or four blocks. Then he’d kick a puppy in the crotch.

So if you’re the Sith Lord, please, don’t consider a XXXXX. The XXXXX is only for people who know how to respect the laws, but maybe need to bend them now and then. And maybe the occasional smuggler with a heart of gold.

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