Not far from our office, there’s a little town we’ll call Villa Bella – well, the term “town” gives it too much credit. It’s a twelve-square-block patch of tract houses that happens to overlap a stretch of road we’ll call Stripmall Blvd. As soon as you cross the city limits, the legal speed on Stripmall Blvd. suddenly drops from 40 MPH to 25. And you’d best believe there’s a uniformed representative of Villa Bella’s finest lurking betwixt the nail parlors and fried-chicken outlets, ready to gently correct your reckless roadsmanship and charge you for the privilege. Hey, somebody’s gotta pay for the mayor to fly to all those “conferences” in Vegas, right?

We’re sure you can think of a place like Villa Bella somewhere in your metro area. And we’re sure you’re fed up with your forced contribution to their municipal finances. The Whistler SRT-35R laser/radar detector picks up a wide range of nefarious Villa-Bellian snoopwaves – the various bands and types are all listed below, so we won’t deface this well-constructed paragraph by including them here. Its Total Perimeter Protection offers three hundred and sixty degrees of defense against the designs of scheming patrolmen, while VG-2 cloaking technology hides your detector’s signal when VG-2 surveillance is in the air.

The Whistler SRT-35R also includes a safety warning system to alert you to emergencies on the road. Speaking of which, we’d like to notify the mayor of Villa Bella about an emergency of his own: he’ll have to find a new sucker to pay for his wife’s breast augmentation. Thanks to the Whistler SRT-35R, his grubby, grabby hands will stay out of your pockets.

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