If you’re anything like us, you’re fed up with the arduous, grueling labor involved in preparing salads. It’s not enough that we have to slave over a hot keyboard all day earning the money to buy the lettuce and whatnot – we also have to wield an unwieldy blade to slice up the ingredients, at great personal risk to ourselves? Eating healthy is great and all, but it’s not worth losing a finger over, not when it’s so much easier to just pick up some deep-fried drive-thru processed chicken wads on the way home from work. Dammit, man, we’ve got orcs to level up!

Well, lazybones, it’s time to find a new excuse. The Westinghouse SaladXPress takes the labor out of the salad racket. It spin-dries your greens! It slices your cukes! It grates your cheese! It does everything for you but chew the salad up and regurgitate it as a mushy paste. So, yeah, you’ll still have to move your own jaws, but after all the Salad Xpress is doing for you, you can make that effort. Spend a few salad days with the SaladXPress and it’ll have you exclaiming, “What a tosser!”

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