Welcome, select Americans, to the first permanent base, here on… THE MOON!

We at NASA are thrilled to announce that we’ve completed this project well ahead of time. It only took us six months start to finish! Admittedly, we had to cut corners on the televisions, but that’s a small price to pay! And, after all, we are on the moon! Isn’t that exciting! So we’re sure you won’t mind that we put Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTVs in all the rooms and common areas.

What? Why does it look like the moonbase was designed in 1971? Ha ha! Well, we here at NASA decided to… to go retro! After all, who doesn’t love shag carpeting and those cool big circle chairs. Now, if you’ll all hurry along, we’ve got to take you to the quarters. There you’ll be able to watch the NASA channel, that will tell you all about the moonbase, in beautiful 16:9 with over 16.2 million colors. These Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTVs aren’t so bad, compared to the old black and whites that used to be there.

What? Oh, ha ha! Just my little joke! There were never any black and white televisions there! This moonbase is brand new! Only ever the cheap Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTVs. Is there a question in the back? Why does it say “Established 1971” on the dedication plaque? Ha ha! Okay, well, that’s just a fine question, really. And the answer… the answer is… because of Stanley Kubrick! Yes, this moonbase was designed to honor the master himself. All sorts of details will appear to be old-fashioned, or designed and assembled thirty some years ago. That’s on purpose! It’s a homage, see? So come along, and now you don’t have to worry that NASA built a moonbase years ago and is just now opening it to the public.

All right! Here’s the first room! Go on, make yourself at home, turn on the Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTV and start learning about the moonbase by using the special NASA channel that… why is there graffiti that says “CIA Forever”? Oh, our cleaning crew must have missed that. We’ll take care of that immediately. What? A suit in the closet made of material that’s never existed on the planet Earth? You know… maybe this area isn’t open yet. Come on, I’ll take you to the common area, which, by the way, was only built six months ago and certainly not before, and we can all watch the Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTV until the rooms are prepared.

No, that’s not a painting of Burt Reynolds. That’s Will Ferrell from Anchorman! Wasn’t that a good movie! Hey, maybe we can watch it on the Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26” LCD HDTV. Come on, let’s head there and enjoy the distraction… I mean the relaxation that only a brand new Moonbase can provide.

No, those aren’t asbestos removal teams! Those are astronauts! Come on, turn on the Westinghouse SK-26H730S 26”

LCD HDTV

already, so you can stop looking at crap you’re not supposed to see. No, no more questions!

I SAID NO MORE QUESTIONS

! WATCH

THE DAMN TV

!

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