There’s one phrase that always pushes you over the edge. “Free popcorn.”

Take a look at these two pitches:

PITCH A: “Hey, welcome to JerkCorp! We require you use six different sets of key cards for maximum security, you can’t talk to anyone with a badge that doesn’t match your level, you only get two minutes for lunch and it has to be taken in our on-site cafe where you can only get crackers and juice. Plus overtime is mandatory and also unpaid, but you have to be out of the building at 5pm so the cleaners can come in. You’ll be making 13k a year and there’s no vacation.”

PITCH B: “Hey, welcome to JerkCorp! We require you use six different sets of key cards for maximum security, you can’t talk to anyone with a badge that doesn’t match your level, you only get two minutes for lunch and it has to be taken in our on-site cafe where you can only get crackers and juice. Plus overtime is mandatory and also unpaid, but you have to be out of the building at 5pm so the cleaners can come in. You’ll be making 13k a year and there’s no vacation, but you DO get free popcorn!”

Tell the truth. Which one were you immediately drawn towards? See? Free popcorn can make even the worst situation sound appealing. And with a Waring Pro Professional Popcorn Maker in your home, you’ll have the ability to make and enjoy eight cups of fresh popcorn at any time, giving you the power that only popcorn can provide. First date going poorly? Invite them home for popcorn! Car sale going south? Throw in a little popcorn! Reporters setting up outside the day you were hoping to flee the country? Start heatin’ up some good ol’ delicious popcorn!

Face it, the way things are today, it might be the last thing left to keep us sane.

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