You know what you got, kid? You got zip. Buzz. Sizzle. Kid, you put the zazz in pizazz, and how.

Kid, by the time we’re done every paper in America will run out of Z’s. First you need a name with some zip, like, I dunno, picture this: Vornado Zippi Fan! Yeah, that’s the stuff. Dress you up in a few zap-pow-type colors. Take you out on the road, which’ll be a snap with your compact design. Let ‘em get a load of your safe, easy-clean nylon blades. Let ‘em feel that fresh air hit their faces like a breath of fresh air. They won’t know what hit ‘em. Figuratively, that is. Literally, they’ll know it was the Vornado Zippi Fan. Who else, right?

I’m talking pep. Spark. Dazzle. Vim. Whatever it is, kid, you got it dripping off your permanently lubricated motor. You got so much of it they’re gonna have to start coining new words for it, like “pezzipple” and “zajj”. Kid, with pop like yours, you can bet your razzmatazz you’ll never wind up on some chintzy deal-a-day web site. Now whaddya say we sell some sizzle?

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