This one’s for all the Fanboys

Hey, who couldn’t use a little air circulation, anyway? Summer’s on the way and maybe you’ve got a stuffy home office, or workout room, or maybe you spray-paint model airplanes in your basement with inadequate ventilation. Don’t do that, by the way.

This little clipper-type fan might be just what you need. (Or just what you “need.”) it can clip to basically anything for optimal positioning. And though it’s not exactly compact, it’s a lot smaller than your average window fan. But we know what you’re going to ask: How is it for power?

You’re so predictable.

Well, the V-Grip promises to move air up to 65 feet, which sounded unlikely to us, so we tried it in the hallway between our office space and warehouse, performing a totally unscientific test lasting less than five minutes. We couldn’t get it to blow air farther than 50 feet on the high setting, but you could probably get better results with different-shaped rooms. Like if you live in a Habitrail, this fan could probably push air through 65 feet of that.

Anyway, a 50-foot column of circulating air is nothing to sneeze at. Unless it’s dusty. But the high-speed setting can be kind of loud, so maybe save it for when you’re pumping iron or repainting or something. The low speed, though—that one’s nice and quiet. Almost… too quiet. Barefoot ninja assassin quiet.

WHAT WAS THAT? WHO’S THERE!? Oh, never mind. Just our V-Grip “air circulator.” (“Air circulator?” WTF, Vornado? It’s a fan.)

We regret that we couldn’t perform more tests, but one of our warehouse guys, Gordo, came into the hall on his way to the men’s room and put an end to our research. He’s a big Lakers booster, see, and when one of us called this thing a “clip fan,” he thought he heard “Clippers fan.” (It’s loud in that hallway sometimes.)

Anyway, in a display of bitter partisanship not unlike many others that you can read about in the police reports of Gordo’s many arrests in sportsbars, he spat on it. But since the fan was running on “high,” he got a fine mist of his own spittle delivered right back into his face. Boy, did that cheese him off!

After we broke up the fistfight that ensued, we all had a good long laugh over the misunderstanding. The fan got the best of Gordo in the tussle, incidentally—a fact he will not soon live down. For such a short-fused fella, Gordo’s not very tough.

Back to top