Say you’re a Cingular/T-Mobile customer, and say you need a new phone. But say you don’t really want to shell out Treo money. Well, it’s a fairly lucky day for you, friend, because amblin’ through the Woot warehouse comes the Voq Professional Unlocked GSM Smartphone, all ergonomic contours and cocksure swagger.

This may be the last cell phone you’ll ever need—and not just because you could die tomorrow in a freak competitive eating accident. No, because the Voq’s unlocked GSM works with any major provider network on the continent—it’s a real swinger that way. And the features only begin there.

It has a good-looking, generously-proportioned color screen, built-in media player and games, it accepts SD media cards, and it’s sturdy like an Illinois co-ed. Its clever fold-out QWERTY keyboard takes (a lot of) the tediousness out of text-messaging, emailing and and manicuring your phone book.

When you roq the Voq, you’re running on the Windows Mobile for Smartphones 2003 operating system. It’s loaded with pocket versions of Outlook, Internet Explorer and MSN messenger, plus something called VoqMail Professional Edition (which supports enterprise-hosted mail servers like as Microsoft Exchange 2003, Microsoft Exchange 2000, and Microsoft Exchange 5.5 as well as Lotus Notes and Novell GroupWise).

Windows Media Player lets you use the handset to play MP3s or videos. There’s a standard 2.5mm headset jack, an infrared port for wireless data synchronization, and slots for MultiMediaCard (MMC) and Secure Digital (SD) cards to expand its 48 MB of internal memory. There’s also a docking port you can use to connect to USB through an optional docking cradle.

Does the Voq Professional Smartphone have all the bells and whistles of the Palm Treo Smartphone? Well, no. The Treo has a bigger screen, a faster processor, a touchscreen, bluetooth capabilities and a camera. But you know what else it has? A price tag around five or six times the size of our Voq’s. For our money—with which we are notoriously tight—the Voq’s got it going on. With its unlocked GSM, you may never need another phone. With its software extras, you may never need another home office. Shoot, with its games and media features, you may never even need friends to call you anymore.

It’s like our roommate used to say when the house phone rang at 5:00 AM: You should get it; it’s probably for you.

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