Listen keenly, Stilton, I’m not in the habit of repeating myself to my driver. I shall require two cold beers as soon as I get into the back seat in the morning (one in each fist). Another at my 10 a.m. “coffee” break. Then three beers at lunchtime. For my afternoon break, I will take one beer, then one Coke – to sober me up for the last couple hours of the day. And finally, I need one more beer to unwind on the drive home. Keep the car running outside my office at all times. If any of my subordinates ask about my habits, tell them nothing. But they won’t ask.

What? Of course I know the car doesn’t have a refrigerator. You are to keep my drinks chilled in the Vector MobileGear Automotive VEC221MG Travel Cooler and Warmer. It keeps up to nine cans cool to an average of 45 degrees, and it runs on the car’s 12V DC power outlet. Discretion must be absolute. A man of my position can’t be too careful.

After all, there are those who would do anything to bring me down, and usurp the coveted Shift Supervisor role for themselves. Indeed, at times it seems that this Burger Chief franchise teems with the machinations of my enemies. Such is the price one pays for power. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get in there and drop those hash browns before morning rush. Andy called in sick again.

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