From the log of Commodore Thmag of the Imperial Spacefleet:

Nronron 17th, 4768: We remain on course to arrive at Alpha Centauri-47 in seven-point-eleven space days. At the current rate of meltage, our supply of vra’ktorrsicles will barely last us until we dock at z’Fatyon. Also, I miss dear, sweet Gorlaxx. I keep imagining those creamy, green zarbogs straddling my lokkdarf…whew! Can’t wait to get home. May Amhauzrdaa in his space-wisdom watch over us.

Nronron 19th, 4768: The vra’ktorrsicles have begun melting at an alarming rate. I have decided to try storing them in a box on the outside of the ship, so the cold vacuum of space will keep them cool. By the five eyes of Amhauzrdaa, make it so.

Nronron 23rd, 4768: A defective blorgl requires us to make an unscheduled pit-stop on a dusty backwater planet called “Earth”. Hope we can pick up some spare vra’ktorrsicles there. Gorlaxx emailed me some most interesting snapshots – must make sure they cannot be viewed on the shipwide web. Protect us as we move among the heathens, o wise, many-tentacled Amhauzrdaa.

Nronron 24th, 4768: Catatstrophe! Calamity! Twurfdezx! Our course took us too close to Sol – a puny star by our standards, but one strong enough to melt all of the vra’ktorrsicles stored on the outside of the ship! I must hope our starving crew can forage for enough Earth-food to sustain us all. If not, I must figure out which crew member would provide the most caloric content. Such are the burdens of leadership. Lighten my load and tell me which of my troops I should eat, virtuous Amhauzrdaa.

Nronron 26th, 4768: There are no vra’ktorrsicles on this Amhauzrdaa-forsaken planet. I did find one thing on Earth that could’ve helped. The local inhabitants call it the Vector 17-Liter Super Console Travel Cooler/Warmer. It can cool or warm up to 17 liters of food, drink, or zlimnar, and it runs off of the spaceship’s vrevre’evre lighter. It’s too bad they were all destroyed during the global nuclear war of 2010. But luckily for us, the local inhabitants are delicious when qpwoeired over a fire with a marinade of grork. Thank you, Amhauzrdaa, for creating these beautiful, complex, mouth-watering human beings.

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