This letter regards your remote control stunt vehicle, the “Stunt Psycho.”

As an involuntary resident of a maximum security state mental hospital, I feel compelled to share my perspective. Sirs, this name—“Stunt Psycho”—is insensitive in the extreme. I should know. I have been the recipient of numerous psychiatric diagnoses, all of which designate me an extreme danger to the public, but at no point has any qualified mental health professional called me “psycho.”

Sadly, this is just one example of inappropriate language on your part.

To say this “insane multi-terrain” vehicle performs “wacked out wheelies [sic]” and “crazy flips” is to marginalize those of us who struggle with psychosis, cerebral derangement, uncontrollable ranting, Violent Rampage Disorder (VRD), and an occasional case of the stabbies. I would prefer to see this toy’s capabilities described in less inflammatory language, like this:

“Take the remote controller in hand and perform stunts which, if this vehicle were full sized and you were sitting in its driver’s seat, would be extremely dangerous and inadvisable.”

Also, encouraging children to “go nuts with some insane stunts” (as you do in your marketing materials) is completely irresponsible.

Gentlemen, I know what it means to “go nuts with some insane stunts.” While such episodes of abandon are satisfying in the moment, they also have unpleasant consequences. Your target market should know about those consequences.

If the children who buy your toys could get even one look at the padded cell to which I am confined day and night, I bet it would permanently change the way they drive their remote-control stunt buggies. From that day forward they would obey posted regulations, pass on the left, and never try another “crazy flip” again. That way lies misery and hardship.

I thank you for your time and thoughtful consideration.

Yours sincerely,
Dominic Batman Redbloodpanther
Geronimo reincarnated
Scion of Atlantis
The Lord your God

P.S. Please excuse this letter’s odor. I am not permitted to have writing implements, so had to scrawl this missive with my own excrement.

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