Buddy, I gave up on true love years ago. Real happiness is something you can only find in consumer electronics.

Waiting for your one true love? That’s a sucker’s game. First of all, you never know when it’s going to show up. You could be seven, you could be seventy, you could be seven hundred and the alien anthropologist your heart’s been yearning for could dig up your skull and feel some strange longing in its six-chambered heart. That’s a lot of waiting.

Second, you don’t know who it’ll be. Oh sure, it might be the person who bags your groceries and has big dreams for the future. But what if it’s your best friend’s lover? What if it’s your co-worker’s mom? What if it’s the person who shot your parents down in cold blood and was relocated by the witness protection program so they can testify against the Mafia? It’s awkward situations like that that make the entire Lifetime Channel’s programming possible.

But a TruLink 60GHz Wireless HDMI HDTV Kit? Now there’s something you can set your heart on to arrive at your door without worry. High definition wireless transmission between your television and your HDMI components won’t shatter your dreams. You’ll never have to plan a secret rendezvous with the 4Gbps transfer rate and 7.1 Channel Surround Sound support so that your buddy won’t find out you’re sleeping with them. And you’ll never be forced to choke back the tears as you take your awful revenge against the 60GHz transmission capability for what it did to your mom and dad so many years ago.

Besides, do you have any idea how much money you’ll shell out for “true love” over time? This is a one-time purchase, friends. You might not be able to snuggle with it when it’s cold outside, sure, but at least you can easily enjoy your HDTV and other HDMI components in your small, miserable, lonely apartment. That’s WAY better, if you ask me.

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