“Man, it’s taking me forever to transfer this bootleg Watchmen cam-vid over our home network!”

“I know! If only there was a better- Hey, do you hear that? That whooshing sound?”

“Yeah, it sounds like -”

CRASHHHHH!

”- a tornado!”

“That’s right! I’m the Tornado PC-to-PC transfer device! And I’m here to make moving your files from one computer to another easier and faster than ever – Tornado style!”

“Aaagghh! My leg!”

“My brother’s leg! It’s trapped under that beam! You – you maniac! What have you done to our house? Here, help me move it! Unggghh – ungghh – it – won’t budge! Help me, dammit!”

“No can do, amigo! But I can connect any two PCs so they treat each other like USB hard drives! And I can transfer files between them up to six times faster than typical flash-based storage devices – Tornado style!”

“I don’t care! Look at these cuts on my face from all the broken glass! I’ll kill you for this, I swear to God!”

“And I’ll kill your data-transfer problems! Copy and move files without an Ethernet network and without any cumbersome software to install! Carry me anywhere, share files with anyone, in no time flat – Tornado style!”

“My brother – he’s unconscious! Tommy! Tommy, wake up! Tommy? Don’t let go, Tommy! You, help me move unggghh – ungghh – this damn beam! Now!”

“Not my core competency, friend! But I will include a copy of PC Eraser pro, which erases your data to Department of Defense standards! You can zero out any sector on your drive up to 35 times, for secure data deletion you can trust – PC Eraser style!”

“I’ll never forgive you for this, you – you monster!”

“And I’ll never stop helping you transfer your files quickly, easily and securely – Tornado style!”

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