You always knew you’d make it someday. Sure, the scoffers scoffed and the naysayers said “nay.” They cancelled your subscription to Premium Cigar & Cognac Digest just because you couldn’t pay the bill. They wouldn’t let you dock your 12’ bass boat at their fancy-pants marina. They laughed at the fake swooshes Sharpied onto your Budget Pro sneakers. At least the fools never figured out how inexpensively you stocked your wine cellar (also known as “your toolshed”). Through it all, somewhere deep in your greedy little heart, you kept the dream alive. And now the time has come to take hold of the luxury you’ve always deserved.

No, we can’t give you that oceanside villa or that solid-gold Jet Ski. But if you have any sense (and $175 postpaid), you will shortly be teeing off with the TaylorMade R5 dual Type D, one of the finest drivers this side of the Grand Prix. The imposing 450cc head suits your new living-larger-than-life profile. With its ample hitting area and weight cartridges pre-configured to counteract the common slice, the R5 takes a forgiving approach to hits off the tee. After all, we’re all gentlemen here. In tandem with the aforementioned weight cartridges, the pulled-heel clubhead design produces a low center of gravity for high launches and a drawspin for long carry shots. Most importantly, people will be favorably impressed that a schlub like you was able to get his oil-smeared hands on a TaylorMade driver.

We can hear you asking now: “That’s all fine and dandy, but does the r5 Dual Type D offer a strong opportunity to achieve vertical-gear effect?” O, ye of little faith. We’re not sure what your question means, but a quick Google search tells us that the answer is “yes.” So there! Vertical-gear effect for all!

Sure, you could buy cheaper clubs. Problem is, they’d be cheaper. And you might think you’d like to switch around the R5’s weight cartridges, the way you can with some other TaylorMade models. But ask yourself: do I really feel competent to choose the right configuration from over 1200 possibilities? Mightn’t TaylorMade’s professional engineers have a better guess as to how you need your clubs weighted? Of course they would. That’s one of the things you’ll have to keep in mind now that you’re one of the propertied class: don’t break a sweat thinking when you can pay somebody else to do it for you.

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