No, I don’t have a drinking problem. You guys just have a flask-appreciation problem.

It’s all, “Gina, are you really bringing your flask to the grocery store?” Or, “Gina, seriously, we’d prefer if you didn’t drink at Anne’s baby shower.” Or, “Gina, there’s no alcohol allowed in traffic school.” Don’t you see? You’re all so negative and stuck up all the time!

I mean, does anyone ever say, “Gina, that’s some pretty cool vintage style art work on your flask”? Or does anyone ever say, “Wow Gina, your stainless steel flask’s beveled edges most likely give it strength and durability”? Does anyone ever say, “Gina, you’ve shown yourself to be a true patriot by purchasing a product built in the USA”? No, no, and no!

So maybe, you guys – who are always telling me I have a serious problem – maybe the serious problem is with you and your inability to appreciate interesting, well-built, American products.

Now who’s driving me home?

Back to top