I’m not saying I’m out of shape, but the other day I lost my breath riding an escalator. My gut jiggles when I watch somebody run on TV. And the last time my doctor tried to draw my blood, all that came out was cherry pie filling. So maybe I could stand to tone up a little. The only problem is, that takes effort. I’m not really a big effort guy.

You know what doesn’t take effort? Buying fitness products. Take this Sports Beat D71 Dummies Impulse Heart Rate Monitor. All it takes is a couple of mouse clicks and this combination heart monitor and sports watch will be on its way to my sofa. It’s easy to use, easy to read, and easy to buy. It doesn’t require a chest belt, so I won’t have to go through the humiliation of asking my tailor to make me a special chest-belt extension. Actual exercise involves lots of moving around, sweating, and sometimes showering. But buying the Sports Beat D71 Dummies Impulse Heart Rate Monitor gives me a warm feeling that I’m taking care of my health, without burning up one precious calorie.

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