My last thought as I watched the cement truck speeding toward me was “I’m going to miss Christmas shopping this year.”

I didn’t think about my parents, or my boyfriend, or my pet albino sugar gliders, Antony and Cleopatra. No, my only feelings of loss were for the one time of year when my compulsive spending habit is tolerated, even encouraged, by the people around me and society in general. Isn’t Christmas a magical time?

Miraculously, I survived the accident. I will live to overspend another day. But the doctors say I have to stay in this bed for at least six weeks, so I won’t be prowling the malls this season. And me with a hefty settlement from the construction company, just sitting in my bank account begging to be squandered. Sure, I can do all the online shopping I want from my bed, but I’ve heard that can be unsafe or whatever, because of those hacker fisherman identity thief people. Besides, without the satisfying snikt of swiping my credit card, it hardly feels like shopping at all.

So the first thing I’m e-buying is this SmartSwipe Credit Card Reader by NetSecure. They say it does all kinds of safety stuff to keep bad guys from stealing my digits, and I’m sure they’re right. But, y’know, BORING. The thing I like is, I get to swipe my card right there at my computer! With the SmartSwipe Credit Card Reader, suddenly the world is my Forever 21.

There’s so much I’ll miss about the mall while I’m laid up: the crisp white coats at the Clinique counter, the alluring aromas of those cinnamon pretzels, the colorful little reminder slips from the parking garage (my scrapbook feels pretty empty already). But the SmartSwipe Credit Card Reader gives me the gift of the swipe this holiday season. I might not be able to walk until spring at the earliest – good thing that cement truck didn’t hurt my wrist any.

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