Cheeky fall wind whipped around the clock tower’s observation deck. Chet peered down at the busy midday quad, teeming with students on their way to class or lunch or somewhere equally insignificant and disgusting. You puny, puny ants, he thought, raising the optical scope to his eyes and steadying his shooting hand. That’s right, just go on your way, doing the stupid, meaningless things you do, never suspecting that I’m looking down on you. Oh, but you’ll know soon enough. You’ll regret the way you’ve treated me. I promise you that.

Centering his scope on a pert female student flirting with some brawny frat brothers, Chet took a deep breath and – CLICK! One down! Then a shaggy-haired slob in an army jacket, a nondescript chubby girl slurping on a Big Gulp, a skinny Asian brainiac toting a briefcase. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! Got you! Got you all! The fools didn’t even know what was happening! Taste my Simmons CaptureView 8×30 1.3MP Digital Camera Binoculars, you useless scum!

For just a moment, Chet wasn’t the creepy jerk who always drank alone at parties – he was the master of the world, seeing every detail through the CaptureView’s 8×30 magnification, clicking 1.3 megapixel snapshots of all he surveyed. The world-renowned power of Simmons optics was in his hands! And there was nothing all the idiots could do to take it away! His spree quickly spent the 16MB of internal storage. But he reloaded with a 256MB SD card (not included) and went on shooting until, panting and emotionally drained, he felt like he’d claimed enough victims. Then he laughed. Laughed at the stupid, uncomprehending world. Laughed at the way he’d embarrass all those ignorant sheeple by putting their photos up on his blog with unflattering captions. Laughed at the sheer release, the pure joy, the unalloyed thrill of revenge.

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