Friends? No, father. I don’t need more friends. I have them right here.

Yes, father. I know that you and mother are worried about me. But I’m fine. I’m not lonely at all. I’ve got my Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In Drawer Set to be my friends. See, father? Don’t they glisten in the light?

Look, look. This is my paring knife, clad in 32 layers of SUS410 stainless steel. It was assembled by the Kasumi method, father, did you know that? Here, look at the serrated utility knife. Do you see it now?

Shh. Shhhhh. Don’t talk now, father. See if you can hear it. Hear what? Oh, father, surely you can hear the whispers. Take the two chef’s knifes, they’re the loudest. Do you hear them? Do you hear what they ask of us? The Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In Drawer Set has needs, father. And I am their only friend.

Father, here, take the santoku, and the multi-purpose serrated slicer. Feel them in your hands, their glorious d-shaped handles and ergonomic pakkawood. Are they not glorious? Father, do you not feel they are your destiny? Come with me, father, for with them, perhaps you will feel complete, as I do, whenever I heft them in my tiny hands. I am a hunter, father, and when I have my Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In Drawer Set, I feel as though no man can stop me. Especially when wearing my clown suit.

What? More time as a family? A trip? To Disneyland? Well, father, I suppose if I must, I could leave my Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In Drawer Set behind in the included drawer tray. But can I at least bring the nine inch slicing blade? No? Well, then, my metal friends. I will miss you so. Will you excuse me, now, father? I must make a phone call.

Hey, Janine? Oh. My. God. It worked! Your plan worked! I’m going to Disneyland! Hey, come get your Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In Drawer Set and then you can try it on your dad and then we can stay at the same hotel! Oh, wow, this is going to be the best Christmas ever!

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