I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel.

That’s right. Sometimes the world gets so dark that all I can do is curl up in a dark room and listen to Trent Reznor or Marilyn Manson or Barry Manillow records. Play them at really slow speeds and it sounds like Type O Negative, I promise. It’s a dark place I inhabit, and sometimes, I just need to cut.

No, not me, that would hurt. Are you crazy? No, when it gets too much, I pull out my Shun Kaji Fusion 5 Piece Knife Set and cut other things. For example, the 9” Bread knife shows my pain with each smooth slice across the loaf. I throw away the end piece the way life throws me away every day.

Then I take the 8” Slicing knife and chop up a tomato, Those seeds fall like tears of blood from the eyes of a vampire. I know pain, tomato, pain like you can’t imagine. I then grab a 8” Chef’s knife and carve some fresh turkey. It lived, but now is dead, and roasted. All progress comes from pain. Why even bother? We’re born to die in the end.

With a 3” Paring knife, I slice the crust off, like removing the sin burnt onto my passionate heart forever. And then, at the end, I divide it down the middle with a 5” Utility knife. No one knows my inner soul. They see a simple sandwich. But really, I taste my own darkness. And we’re out of barbecue chips too. I hate my mom and dad.

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