You’ve wasted a lot of money swearing at those cheap disposables. Why not just get a Senz Umbrella?

If we’re being honest, kids don’t learn the naughty words on cable television. Kids learn those naughty words by sitting by the window on a rainy, windy day. Because that’s the sort of day that turns normal umbrellas inside out, and that’s the sort of event that causes people to swear loudly. The next day, when the sun is out, all those kids are running around talking like they live in South Park and no one seems to know why! “Maybe they learned it on the playground!” the poor parents say. But it’s not the playground. It’s the cheap umbrellas. Or more specifically, it’s the people that bought a cheap umbrella in the first place.

It’s up to all of us to make the world safe for our children. So, before you ruin everything with your potty mouth, won’t you please consider a Senz Aerodynamic 46” Storm Umbrella? It’s designed to survive winds up to 70 miles an hour, always finding the best position so the air flow can pass right over the wing-style canopy. Sure, it’s a bit unusual to look at, but you know what that means? It means if some jerkface steals it, you’ll see him or her right away.

Best of all, this award-winning umbrella with the comfortable EVA foam handle just will not turn inside-out, thanks to the extra reinforced rib construction and novel design, and that’s going to keep you dry and happy in any storm that doesn’t feature Jim Cantore. No swearing with this umbrella! No, sir!

Please don’t condemn a bunch of innocent children to a life of crime simply because you’re a cheapskate. Remember: umbrellas may be disposable, but naughty words last a lifetime. Buy a Senz Aerodynamic 46” Storm Umbrella or else YOU might be the one to blame!

Back to top