I’d like a paradox, please. No, wait, I’ll take three. They’re small.

“Awesome. I’ve finally filled my Sansa Fuze 4GB Media Player full of music and video, the voice recorder works great, and I’ve preset all available 40 FM stations. Now to complete my very first playlist. I can’t wait to start rocking out to all my favorite music with the included earbuds.”

blink! “Greetings, Harold Schwerve.”

“Whoa! Where’d you come from, Mr. Shiny Pants?”

“I come from… The Future.”

“The Future, you say?”

“Yes, Harold. You may not know it, but this moment is very important to the future. Years from now, the playlist you have just created will be recognized as being so awesome, so stellar, so absolutely rock-tastic, that it will be proclaimed the official playlist representing the Human Race. That very playlist will be our message to the rest of the Milky Way’s inhabitants, and will bond us all together as a galaxy. An unprecedented world of peace, prosperity, and good times will reign over this world and countless others.”

“Wow. That’s quite amazing, Future Guy, but I haven’t finished it yet. One more song and I’m done.”

“Excellent. I shall record this moment for the future’s historians. Continue with your destiny, Harold Schwerve.”

“Um, okay.”

“BUT BEWARE! This choice effects the very fabric of my timeline. Trillions of lives hang in the balance!”

“Well, gosh. I had pretty much whittled the choice down to two songs. Either The Police’s “Roxanne” or Sting’s “Desert Rose”. You know, I think I’ll go with Desert Rose. I simply love Sting’s world music, don’t you?”

“NOOOOOOooo” blink!

“Whoa! He just disappeared. Weird. What if I go with Roxanne?”

blink! “Ugh! What happened?”

“You disappeared for a second. How do you feel?”

“It was awful. I can’t recall it all… I was somewhere cold, dark… and lonely. Is that what it’s like to die?”

“That’s neat! This is the best trick ever! Desert Rose!”

“Wha…” blink!

“Roxanne!”

blink! “Gasp! This is not…”

“Desert Rose!”

“Stop…” blink!

And so this scene went on, until Future Guy, sick of Harold Schwerve’s toying with the fabric of time, shot him in the face with his ray gun and completed the playlist for him, just as the history books had said. The future was saved.

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