Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Wrinkles Goodbye

Nothing gets the wrinkles out of your clothes like a dose of steam every once in a while. That’s why you’ve never seen a rumpled-looking park ranger at Yellowstone. Think about it.

The old way to steam the wrinkles out of your get-up is to check into a hotel, put the outfit you want to wear on a hanger in the bathroom, then take as long and as steamy a shower as your schedule and the Red Roof Inn’s hot water supply will allow. When done right, this process gets your clothes looking Botox smooth—not that you’ll be able to tell, because the mirror will be too foggy.

But that’s not always a practical way to do it. For one thing, who wants to go checking into a Red Roof Inn every time his jacket gets creased? Not us. We can’t help imagining what horrible, sordid scenes have played out in the very beds on which we sit to take our shoes off. It gives us the creeps.

A better alternative is the Rowenta full-size commercial garment steamer, a burly contraption you can use right at home that huffs and puffs and smooths your textiles out. Its big onboard water tank holds a whole gallon of the wet stuff for up to one hundred and fifty minutes of continuous steam, or the hot air equivalent of two and one half episodes of “The View.”

OK, you’re thinking, that’s all fine and good. But we can see that quizzical look in your eyes. You’re wondering “can I use it to steam my household furnishings?” The answer is yes. Yes, you can. It even rolls around easily on wheels, so that’s no problem.

On the other hand, maybe we misinterpreted your expression, and what you’re really wondering is “can I use it to torture the door-to-door evangelists and salespeople I abduct from my front step and imprison in my dungeon?”

In that case, we’d like to change our answer to: Slowly backing away until we reach the door, then running for it.

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