I’ve had it! Had it! I’m taking this planar to every damn piece of furniture in this house!

You spend all this money on so-called professional furniture, you’d think the surfaces would actually be flat! Big joke! I’ve detetected deviations from level of up to .00083 degrees on some of the tables around here! Unacceptable!

You think I’m kidding? You think I’m kidding? When I’m done with this Rockwell RC5340K Shop Series Power Planar, there won’t be a supposedly “flat” surface left unplaned! I mean it! I’ll plane you with 7.5 amps of planing power as soon as look at you! Enough is enough! My world is going to be completely level 3-1/4 inches at a time, if it kills me! And it might! But with this ergonomic contoured soft-grip, it won’t be because of arthritis!

What? Maybe my tables are uneven because of tiny iregularities in the floor, you say? Well then maybe the floor needs the Rockwell RC5340K Shop Series Power Planar treatment, too! Unless you want to wind up in that integrated chip ejection system, get flat and get the hell out of my way!

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