In the future, after the ice caps melt and the continents sink beneath the sea, when we all live in villages made up of rafts tethered together with cables of braided kelp, water will provide almost all our power.

Nothing will be electric anymore. Well, maybe a few little things. Like wristwatch calculators. But charging them will be expensive, requiring the use of eels, so wristwatch calculators will only be worn by the very, very wealthy.

For the rest of us, all our machines and appliances will run on water pressure systems. We’ll call it “e-wet-tricity.” The first guy to call it that, maybe he’ll just have a speech impediment. But it will catch on.

Sound fantastic? Well, in a small way, this mind-boggling future world of tomorrow is already here, in your front lawn. Not in the sense that your children are developing gills and webbed digits (although they might be; we don’t know your kids)—but in the form of the Reel Smart crankless hose winder-upper.

The Reel Smart hose-winder is a thing that neatly, safely winds up your garden hose as soon as you’re finished washing the car, or watering the garlic patch, or extinguishing the terrier, or whatever you were doing with your hose. And it doesn’t use any precious “elbow grease,” a resource that we understand is in extremely limited supply around your place, you lazy good-for-nothing.

Instead, No-Crank brand hose reels do their rewinding with a patented water-piston engine. That’s the power of water pressure! Or, as we’ll be calling it soon, e-wet-tricity. It’s probably a good idea for you to get used to the concept with something simple like this hose-winder, too—because when hydromageddon comes, you’ll have enough new things to adjust to. You know, like squeezing the fresh water out of fishes, and coping with chronic seasickness, and defending the raft-village against marauding bands of seal-people.

Oh! One more thing: This hose reel is “floor mountable,” a phrase that does not make us want to make a yo-momma joke even a little bit, because we’re way classier than that.

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