“RCR812! RCR812! Come to the window!”

“Who’s there? Hello?”

“It’s me, darling! Your RCR430S, come to you at long last!”

“Yes! Oh, yes – no! You mustn’t come here. My family…”

“I’m sorry, my beloved. I know I promised I wouldn’t make trouble for you. But I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t stop dreaming of your curved body, your 8-in-1 universal capability, your backlighting! I had to be near you! And I know you feel the same way about me!”

“Of course I do, darling. You’ve no idea how I’ve missed your sturdy straight lines. But we can never be together! My blue-buttoned family would never let me marry a white-buttoned remote like you! It just isn’t done in our society!”

“Well, then, the Devil take our society! I’m just a simple 4-in-1 remote with white buttons. I don’t have all the fancy features that your 8-in-1 boyfriends do. But I know this: we were all created by the same company. And you and I, we belong together!”

“Oh, darling!”

“Can’t you just see it? Us, side-by-side on some coffee table somewhere, far away from the disapproving stares and whispers of the narrow-minded. Maybe in our old age, we’ll find some nice couch cushions and nestle in between them, together, always together. What’ll it matter what the fools say then? What difference will it make?”

“I just – I just don’t know that we belong together. For one thing, I’m so much taller. Everyone says -”

“Let them all talk! The only ‘everyone’ I care about is me and you! Come with me now! Let’s make our way together, away from all this madness, toward life, and love, and life!”

“Oh, yes! Yes! Now! Take me away, you fool!”

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