Who you gonna trust when it comes to the music you love: a bunch of Stevie-Come-Latelies with a fat marketing budget, or a firm that’s been shaping audio technology since Woodrow Wilson was in the White House? Face front, motherscratchers: this RCA Lyra 256MB MP3 player carries a pedigree that stretches back to 1919. These are the dog-listening-to-the-gramophone people. When Steve Jobs was soiling his minimalist white diapers, these cats were inventing color TV. Respect must be paid, even if this classic American brand is owned by a bunch of Frenchmen these days (Thomson, that is).

But the RCA Lyra need not coast on its distinguished provenance. It offers 256 big hungry megabytes of tune storage, which you can expand with the simple addition of an SD/MMC card (not included). Along with the standard audio file-playing capabilities, it adds a line-in jack and an FM tuner/recorder. In the Lyra’s utopian domain, MP3s, WMAs, Audible audiobooks and FM broadcasts alike join hands in harmonic compatibility. Sure, the RCA Lyra isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but at least you can choose from three different backlighting colors.

Hey, Granny and Gramps lindy-hopped to an RCA Victrola, and that was good enough for them. Are you saying you’re better than the greatest generation? How can you turn your back on your own grandparents? If you’re tempted to get some trendy tech-nouveau bauble instead of this player, remember what the ancient Romans said: not buying the RCA Lyra is tantamount to punching your grandma in the kidney.

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