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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there lived three princesses. One was named Beautastica, one was named Gorgeousima, and the other was named the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder. Each day they would go out to the balcony and look at the parade of handsome princes in their uniforms with the very tight pants that left nothing to be imagined or wondered about. Beautastica would comb fresh flowers from her long blonde hair and watch the most handsome of the princes with the tightest pants run to catch them. Gorgeousima would play her magic harp and the most clever of the princes with the moderately tight pants but excellent careers would sing along. And then the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder would record from a tv, camcorder, or existing VHS tapes and burn to a DVD-R/RW and hand them to the princes who wore Firefly t-shirts and pants that weren’t really very tight at all.
But then came the dark day when the wizard Pah Temouth descended on the kingdom with a never ending stream of curses. Gorgeousima swooned as his foul gutteral language undercut her quiet loving tune, and Beautastica burst into tears and locked herself in her room, combing herself bald in a terrified frenzy. But the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder had seen worse things on the internet, and she knew what to do. For the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder was equipped with TV Guardian, a magical feature that mutes the sound everytime foul language is detected. With no idea how it works, the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder lept at Pah Temouth and plugged him into her front audio/video input jacks, and within mere moments, the wizard was _______ up beyond belief.
That day there was a triple wedding. Princess Beautastica The Bald wed a producer of a very specific sort of movie, and went to live in Santa Monica. Princess Gorgeousima the Swooning wed a narcoleptic from Germany, and they had six wonderful children who never once stayed up past their bedtime. But the RCA DRC8320N DVD Recorder married a kind fisherman with a giant well-used pole that she had secretly been seeing for all this time without the narrator ever knowing. And they all lived happily ever after.
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