You’re not gonna believe what I saw when I was partying over at Todd Gobel’s the other day.

So we all drop a couple and we’re sitting there just listening to the Queens and kinda grooving or whatever, and then Todd reaches for this bowl of Bugles on the table – you know, like the snack? Bugles? Those little corns of cone, or cones of corn, I mean? Anyway, he reaches up and his arm totally turns into this snake. A diamondback. And it’s hissing and spitting at me, and the diamonds down its back start totally glowing green. And its teeth are like little razors. Freaked me out.

So I look at Todd to tell him his arm is a snake, and he’s turned into a mouse. A full-on, like, full-size Chuck E. Cheese kinda thing, but more like a real mouse. He just smiles. And I notice there are words on his teeth, on his two big mouse front teeth. So I lean in to read it and it’s all this gibberish, like “1600dpi” and “7 programmable buttons” and “on-the-fly sensitivity adjustment”. I couldn’t make any sense of it.

Yeah, and so that’s when I ran outside and crapped on the hood of Todd’s car. You’ve probably seen the pictures by now.

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