Need a mouse with more trademarks than a Disney video? You’re gonna want the Razer Copperhead Tempest Blue Gaming Mouse. The world’s most advanced laser sensor picks up 2000dpi and delivers it back to the 32K of onboard memory. With up to five unique gaming profiles, there’s no more need to buy a different mouse for each game. Don’t worry about how it will effect the mouse-based economy of Tuvalu. Just make your hand happy and your headshots more snappy with a Razer Copperhead Tempest Blue Gaming Mouse.

This mouse was designed by: Razer, the first name in streetwise mice. Seriously, if these things ever come to life it will make Skynet look like Microsoft Bob. They’ve got seven independently programmable Hyperesponse™ buttons and On-The-Fly Sensitivity™ adjustment!

Wear this mouse: I guess maybe you could paint it white and put a bunch on your head to look like those twins from Matrix Reloaded. It does have a seven foot cord and zero-acoustic Ultraslick™ Teflon feet.

Don’t wear this mouse: to the airport. The gold-plated USB connector might activate the metal detector and then they’d confiscate it and you’d lose your Portal tournament because you’d have to use a Nintendo Power Glove instead.

This mouse tells the world: “I can handle 7080 frames per second and I’ve got 20g of acceleration! And GlowPipe™ non-slip side rails too!”

We call this color: Icymagic Blue. If only we had listened to the one lone voice of dissent in the shirt.woot forums perhaps we would not now be watching our entire business model crumble around our ears!

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