“V-veronica!” coff coff “Veronica!”

“Dr. Lujan! Oh, Doctor Lujan, what happened to you?”

“In the t-tomb, Veronica! Mummies! And this! A Polaroid DVD Recorder with 160GB Hard Drive and ATSC Tuner!”

“Polaroid? I thought that company was dead. If the dead have risen, wouldn’t they be zombies, Doctor Lujan?”

“N-no, Veronica! Z-zombies are the b-byproduct of myths created under a n-near feudalist plantation system d-designed to keep the original occupants trapped in fear and poverty while mummies are a c-celebration of a traditional African culture, rising only to defend themselves from coff direct exploitation!”

“You’re hurt, Doctor Lujan, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I saw it, Veronica! I saw the 160GB hard drive DVR shining in the moonlight! I saw the dangling bandages of the entombed kings now risen from their slumber! I saw the DVD burner! I saw the ATSC digital tuner! I even saw an NTSC analog tuner like those they used in ancient times!”

“Doctor Lujan! But if mummies only seek revenge, that means…”

“Yes, Veronica. In my quest for history and archeological knowledge… I took the Polaroid DRA-01601A DVD Recorder’s manual from out of the box!”

“Oh, Doctor Lujan! What have you done?”

“Done, Veronica? I’ve learned that the Polaroid DRA-01601A DVD Recorder has something called YesDVD, which lets you record at the touch of a button. I’ve learned about the HDMI input/output, as well as the front USB and SD card reader, and Firewire, Veronica! S-video output, Coaxial digital, Veronica, I’ve learned it can record in real time, to a DVD+R/RW as well as to the hard drive! I’ve learned how to skip forward with a 30 Second Skip and backward with a ten second replay. I’ve coff conquered time, Veronica! Conquered time itself!”

“Oh, but the cost, Doctor Lujan! Sure, we can play music CDs, or DVDs, or view JPGs, but was it all worth it? I mean, it only outputs to 480i or 480p and doesn’t record in High Definition. Was it really all worth it?”

Coff coff “Help me bar the door, Veronica. Hurry, before the mummies reach us!”

“Doctor Lujan, please, just give them back their Polaroid DRA-01601A DVD Recorder so we can escape!”

“Veronica, they’ve broken through! Run, Veronica! Run! Run for your life! ARRRRRRRGH!”

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