Ashlyeigh, Krisstopher, listen up. I want to make one thing perfectly clear before we pull out of this driveway: I wll not tolerate any arguing over the Polaroid 9" Portable DVD with TV Docking Station. We're gonna be on the road a long time, so you'll each have a chance to watch something you like. Ashlyeigh won the coin toss, so _The Last Unicorn_ is first, then _Cardcaptors Volume 4: New Lessons_, then so on, back and forth. If anybody doesn't like it, they're welcome to walk the 748 miles to Knott's Berry Farm. Got it?

Nor will I put up with any complaints that you can't see the screen. This big 9" LCD rotates 180 degrees, so while your video of choice is on, you're permitted to rotate the screen up to 63 degrees in your direction. One degree more, and you lose your privileges for the rest of the ride. Don't test me -  I'm bringing my protractor.

This Polaroid Portable DVD Player has two headphone jacks, so no messing with the other kid's headphones. If you put your sister's earbud in your mouth again, Krisstopher, you might as well swallow it, because by the time I'm finished with you, you're going to need surgery anyway. Oh, and whatever you watch, I don't want to have to listen to that garbage. Leave the headphones plugged in.

Once we arrive at the hotel, you're welcome to use the TV docking station to watch TV, but you know my TV rule: no Disney Channel live-action sitcoms, under any circumstances, no matter how cable-ready the docking station is. Trust me, it's for your own good. No child of mine is going to turn out like Zack & Cody. Am I making myself perfectly clear? Good.

Back to top