Bwah-ha-ha! Welcome to my underground stronghold! I, of course, am Plantron, evil ruler of the botanical kingdom! And I’ve developed a diabolical scheme that not even those meddling do-gooders in the Avenging Squad can thwart! I’ve been watching you man-beasts, endeavoring to understand your ways…and I’ve found that the way to your minds is through your mobile phone headsets. Look at the puny, insignificant creatures, forever jabbering into their plastic headset concretions! The fools!

To prey upon this weakness, I’ve designed the Plantronics Voyager 510 Bluetooth Headset with Multipoint Technology. Well, I say “I,” but it was mostly my R&D team. Shame what happened to them, but I couldn’t afford any lapses in security…anyway, to the imperfect human eye, it appears to be a superior telephone headset, with features like a noise-canceling microphone, 6 hours’ talk time on one charge, and multi-point Bluetooth wireless technology. Just the kind of attributes that will entice humans to open their homes to these headphones – and place them around their uncaring heads.

And I’ll use my front company based in suburban Dallas to market them. Yes, of course it’s a front; you didn’t really think they were making any money, did you?

Anyway, what the humans don’t know is that each headset is made of living plant material, waiting for my signal to strike! At my command, the plant kingdom will rise to crush the human race and make me, Plantron, lord and master of Earth for all time! Enjoy your Plantronics Voyager 510 Bluetooth Headset headsets while you can – for that sound you hear is the steady march of your own doom!

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