Oh, give me a home theatre with 5.1 speakers... despite the name, you won't find these Pioneers sitting around a campfire amid sagebrush and manure, unless you've got really eccentric taste in interior design. No, this 1000-watt surround-sound system is equally at home in urban, suburban, semi-urban, exurban, and rural settings – anywhere people crave lifelike theatre sound on a cramped budget, anywhere where home theatre owners have more enthusiasm than dollars.

Don't let the rustic moniker fool you – Pioneer can cobble up a fine shoutin' box. With Dolby Digital/Pro Logic II and DTS decoders, this burly 1000-watt system will decode the hell out of whatever signal you care to serve up. Then it'll distribute the noise to a center speaker, two front speakers, two surround speakers, and a man-sized subwoofer, just like at the movin' pitcher show. Or switch on "Party Mode" for a room-covering 5-channel stereo mix at your next hoedown, Tupperware party, or L5R tournament.

Now, these speaks are easy to set up, but they're not idjit-proof. If you don't follow the instructions, you may experience some distortion at high volumes, as various online complainers seem to have done. If you take time to get to know this renowned mound of profound surround sound, 5.1 channels of vibrant, crisp ear candy will be your reward. As we say so often around here: Is it the best on the market? No. Is it the best on the market at this price? We wouldn't waste your time if it wasn't.

Actually, yeah, we probably would. But not today.