Oh, it’s so good to have you home, darling. Isn’t it nice to be with Mama for the holidays? Why are you always checking that website, sweetie? Why are you so quiet?

So ya
Thought ya
Might like ta
Go eat at home
And because of that you might miss
This great deal, we know
You weren’t expecting this Pink Floyd Boxed Set
You’re full of potatoes and also regret
There’s all of the discs, even those that were crap
Maybe you should order one before your long afternoon nap

Honey, I don’t want you using my credit card on those places. It’s all Russians anyway. And what is this on VH1 Classic? You won’t want to watch an all day Pink Floyd Marathon. Come watch figure skating like a nice boy.

Mama loves the skating
But doesn’t care for Woot
She doesn’t know this boxed set
Has the LP Dust Sheets too
Ooo ooo ooo it’s got Meddle
Ooo ooo ooo Dark Side too

I guess all that turkey has you sort of catatonic, baby. Well, you just come away from that computer and we can look through the photo album again.

The pie is cooling on the window
She says it’s just too hot to eat
Dessert won’t be for like an hour
She has to sit and have a talk with me
Can’t she just sit and watch tv?

Baby, do you remember that time in Kindergarten you peed your pants on stage? Oh, it was so adorable! Do you want to watch the video instead of your computer thing?

Did did did did I make it here in time
Is is is is my order queued in line
Did did did did I get a copy of these albums every album they were clearly influential and impressive and sound good besides

Honey, do you really want to waste your money on those rock bands? All those songs are just about drugs anyway. Remember when you wanted to buy a football team? Why don’t you keep saving for that?

When we grew up in record bins
Certain albums made us grin
We listened to each night right before bed
With massive guitar solos
Or choirs full of kids
Or interesting lyrics with big words that went straight to our heads
BUT WHEN I LEFT MY ALBUMS IN THE TRUNK
THEY MELTED INTO PLASTIC JUNK
I PUT OFF BUYING CD COPIES AND NOW FINALLY HERE THEY ARE
Oooo ooo oooo
Oooo ooo oooo
Oooo ooo oooo
Oooo ooo oooo
Oooo ooo oooo
Oooo ooo oooo
Aaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This boxed set it comes with coasters
This boxed set it has it all
No crappy downloads that aren’t labeled
Iconic covers one and all
Hey! Collectors!
It looks good on The Wall!

So that’s all you’re going to do? Just sit and stare at the computer for the whole holiday without saying anything? Well, I hope you’re happy, young man. You’ve ruined Thanksgiving.

Mother do you think they’ll ship on time
Mother do you think they’ll like my rhymes
Mother do you think we’ll get to sell them all?
Ooooo ahhh
This visit’s moving at a crawl.

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