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I know what she thought she saw, officer, but I’m telling you: that’s not what I was doing with my hand in my pocket. It’s true, I noticed her as soon as she got on the subway. So did every other guy on the train. And maybe I stared a little more than I should’ve. But all I was doing was turning up the volume on my Philips GoGear 2GB MP3 Player. It holds about 500 songs in MP3 and WMA formats, and it’s got an FM tuner, too.
What happened was, I’d just gotten to the fast part toward the end of “Paradise City” – see, that’s why I was rhythmically rocking back and forth – and I just had to crank it up. Why not? I’ve got the battery power. The GoGear player runs for like 10 hours on one charge. But the player got all mixed up with, uh, the other things in my pocket, so I was having trouble finding the volume control. That’s why my hand was furiously moving around in my pocket. It’s all perfectly innocent.
You want to see it? Sure, it’s right here, let me take it out of my pocket here, if I can get it out- whoops, lemme just pick that up…what? No, no! It’s just a baggie of oregano, I swear!
Warranty: 90 days
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