Is this a solid digital camera or the most technologically advanced teeth mirror ever?

8 megapixels? Intuitive user interface? A 3-in-1 SD memory card slot to expand memory? Honestly, I don’t really care about any of that stuff. I’m not buying this Philips because I need a camera. I’m buying it because I need a something to make sure I don’t have stuff stuck in my teeth, and with its swivel lens and 4x digital zoom, this thing can really get in there!

I usually check my teeth about fourteen times a day. You can call it “obsessive” if you want; you wouldn’t be the first. All four of my ex-wives used that exact word at least once during each of our respective divorce proceedings. So go ahead, say whatever you want, but you know what? I don’t mention how gross your lack of teeth-checking makes your teeth look. I don’t shriek aloud when there is a tiny speck of basil on your teeth after lunch, even though I WANT to.

Actually, now that I think about it, your teeth are particularly bad. Maybe you should consider buying one of these Philips 8MP Swivel Digital Cameras for yourself. I think you’ll find that it makes a world of difference when you check your teeth before breakfast, after brushing your teeth in the morning, when you’re walking to the bus, when you’re on the bus, after lunch, a second time after lunch just to be sure, if you ever feel like your mouth feels too clean, if you wake up screaming, and so on and so forth.

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